Candle making magic 🕯✨

I’ve always loved candles - I’m sure I’m not alone there. I have them all over the house and especially love lighting one on those darker winter evenings as we cosy down and hunker in like we are preparing to hibernate. I never realised just how much I love them until Bertie died and then, after being given an utterly mesmerising and beautifully crafted candle by my sister, which had so much meaning and love within it, they have been a huge part of my coping strategy and grieving process. I have been given others since he died, all in his memory, and I cannot begin to tell you how much peace they have bought to me.

Since he died, I have created a little ritual with my special candles to help me find peace and calm when I am overwhelmed, panic stricken and in a desperate state of fear not having him here with me. These rituals have enabled me to ground, to connect and to heal in ways I never understood or thought possible. I didn’t believe it was possible to escape the darkness after he died, I lost all hope that I would ever be able to enjoy life, feel happiness or joy again.

This ritual has grown and I now have this new hobby which allows me to create candles whenever I am able, a therapeutic process and one that allows me time to think, feel and connect to him. It’s a wonderfully calm activity to do, creating new fragrances and I have also been experimenting with herbs and flowers more recently. I am probably the least creative person on the planet so even I’m surprised at my new found hobby 🤣

So now, almost weekly, I find time to make a candle 🕯✨

This week, Oscar has been on transition days for secondary school and I have felt so overwhelmed and anxious about i. I haven’t been sleeping or been able to switch my head off from the worry and stress of what’s been a nearly 2 year process to find him a school. So, yesterday I got my kit out and got stirring! It allowed me to distract myself from the worry, settle my heart from its panicked, fast paced drumming and utilise one of the strategies in my tool box that I knew would stabilise my feelings.

I ended up making 3 small candles using up previous jars that I had cleaned out and saved - another great way to re-use old candle holders/jam jars or pots. I’m slowly making my way through a stash of empties which is satisfying in itself!

This process for me is about connection, deep and meaningful connection but it’s also a reminder to find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Slowing the pace, finding some calm, peace and quiet space to allow myself to think, feel, cry, whatever comes up, and create something magical. It brings me such hope and joy to light a candle I’ve made. I also love having a stash of candles ready to gift - home crafted and with love.

I hope all those parents and carers who’s little (big) children are going through the motion of transition from primary to secondary schools at the moment haven’t found it too stressful and that they’ve all had a fantastic time. After all that worry, Oscar came home brimming from ear to ear having had a fab day! Phew, now to catch up on some sleep….😴💗